ojou

you weren't smiling yet
when the stars fell from the heavens,
but the mere chance that you would,
rivaled the grandeur of cosmic death,
and you must know this:
it was most painful.

see, it was not hard to fall for you
for what you could be and not what you were.
for instance, i could fall again
for merely the dream of my hand swimming
in the gold of your hair.
for the thought of my knees buckling
under the hold of your stare.

say, what were you thinking
when the stars fell off the heavens,
their rocky skin smoldering
against the unseen walls of the earth,
did you fear you were like them?

did you think your smile would be
the most beautiful meteor shower:
most beautiful but effervescent,
most breathtaking but evanescent,
worth falling for, but fleeting,
everything but eternal?

see, if you did,
then you must know this:
you were wrong, dead wrong.


2009.jan.14

constrictors

the boredom sinks into my veins like vines
out of the jungles of the Amazon:
relentless and consuming.

the ideas warp themselves into my head
like new cars left alone on a highway,
ungoverned and caught
in an eternal acceleration.

the rules will have to be devised
around the body of this world
in my head,
and that is the only way to save it.

yet, it cannot be done
without breaking the laws of man's limits.

for this, i am, sorry, love,
i cannot build a world for you
in less than a day.

damn this shell we live in.
this shell we drive to work and
to minute points of happiness.

the ideas warp out of my head as hunger coils
around me like constrictors
out of the mortal world:
selfish and limiting and consuming.


2008.sep.24

evanescent mirth

If I can bring you back, that will be tempting.
Yet, I must -- I shall resist
   for my needing you is selfish.
Your return is yours to inspire and mine
to fulfill --
Not yours to make sure of --
Not mine to weave in magic.

I yearn to be with you
   but that is evanescent mirth.
I'll think I'll take care of you, you'll end up
my shelter instead.

If I can touch you now I'd rather it be the last.
I shall not forget you
   but I need to -- I will let you rest.

I'll let your smile be yours,
I'll let your innocence be eternal.
My wish is to become you
Much like you became me.

2001.nov

dead pulse

behold
fireworks where
my timid light
should be

a glaring sun
where our gentle moon
should be
hanging

i need you to
remember me

i am still there
where we buried me
still but merely
sleeping

i should be
dead, i am
still but merely
sleeping

behold,
us where
our timid selves
were hesitant but
smiling

indecisive but
smiling

2008.sep.19

lightningale

If ever you sang,
Your song must be my resurrection
That streak of light scarring
the darkness of my soul for a moment;
That distant hum in the horizon breaking
the quiet,
the years when I was dead.

If ever you flew over,
Your wake must be this secret storm
These waves of oceans raging
inside my turbulent soul wanting more;
This hollow feeling of my spirit
driving me after you,
chasing traces of your song in the night sky.

2003.mar.11

quiescent

quiescent, quiescent, i breathed,
ever slowly i wished you were:
quiescent, dead, or dozing,
or other ways where you wouldn't sing,
your stale refrains in the slow,
s l o w ,
torture of me.

silence is magnificent, is good,
i willed for you to know that,
but silence is broken, is raped,
violated when you would sing,
your stale refrains in the slow,
s l o w ,
torture of me.

confinement is good, is magnificent,
were your songs to stay inside your head,
confinement, confinement, i breathed,
ever slowly i wished there was:
some place where you wouldn't sing,
past iron walls and reinforced doors,
your stale refrains in the slow,
s l o w ,
torture of me.

2006.jun.09

farewell to tomorrow

I love the time in between
When we lock our eyes in a stare
And then we lock our lips in a kiss.
It's when the world stands still
And I forget to breathe
Knowing only of the warmth
Of our entangled limbs and bodies.

We chase our runaway breaths
Still in this tight embrace
For a while in a short recess.
And the world moves again
In a monotonous silence.
But I cannot say the words
I can only hold you until this ends.

I love the time in between
Tomorrow and yesterday
For after today I'll see you not again.
I'll miss the time when our embrace
Finally after ages break
For after this there'll be no more
Embraces that will be ever made.

1999.dec.9