luna

come and wade with me tonight,
through the mist and the wind,
through oceans of grass and
tides of fireflies,
through the cold and the darkness;

would you defy heaven for me tonight,
would you come out her silver gates,
through the crowd of clouds,
and run with me through my
blindness?

but tonight i fear i run alone;
the bitter taste of raindrops
plague my tongue;

these rainclouds disguised as night,
unpure rain, bane upon the fireflies,
and so tonight i fear you must stay home.

let me just sing you this song of
longing,
of the nights you waded with me
as we chased the dark and slayed
the shadows,
your face full in the sky that felt
so near
that i know i could kiss you...
only if had the courage
to defy the gods.

but tonight i face the darkness alone;
a heaven defied our love.

tonight she would not even grant me
half of you.

2004

human

in the gentle cascade
of unborn time
i pluck some
feathers from her wings
the angel screams
impassive
on a handful i dine

i sit still in the heart
of stillness
but my eyes roam
all corners of the world
i saw her tears scald
her beauty
i saw her dreams seek
refuge from something unseen

i am silent in the heart
of silence
but i hear my own voice
strung with high laughter
in my head
like angry bells
rusted to time and rain
trying its best
to sound like
to resemble something like
human

join me
my brethren
i stand alone in the heart
of solitude
but i have lots to show you
lots to share with you
like angel feathers
angel tears
angels


2007

delta

if,
on a cloudy day,
you find me gone forever,
maybe,
just maybe,
i would have left a trail
for you to follow.
it may guide you through
the deepest caverns,
the deepest oceans,
and
the deepest nights.
it may lead you to
the end of the world.
but i hope it will lead you
to yourself,
because i,
may have left myself to you.
you might have not known that,
but yes,
maybe,
just maybe,
i left
and i left myself in you.

2003.jun.23

black

it is just you and i and a black night.
we fulfill our existence as told perfectly
in pages of my secret, mad chronicles.
and there too is the storm that once gave promise
to lend voices of its hundred winds
to your colorfully angry thoughts,

that is why they race north of here, your thoughts.
that is why silence rages in this black night,
a silence that outscreams the storm and its winds.
we blend with the silence, you and i, perfectly,
in a circle bound by an ancient promise:
but a mere line in my secret, unread chronicles,

we crumble together while the night chronicles
each removed dark piece contaminating thoughts,
outcast black words resurrected from a dead promise,
and there too are the whispers of night
revealed beneath coats of lies that fit them perfectly.
unnoticed they escape and they ride the winds,

and i notice the stillness that follows the winds,
the stillness, the blank pages, of my dark chronicles,
we fall well between the lines, we land perfectly.
here we transcend all mortal thoughts,
untouched neither by storm nor by anger nor by night,
unstained by touch of mortal promise,

it is just you and i and a black night's promise
of a moment of lesser disturbance from winds,
it is just you and i and this black night,
with random dreams from my mad chronicles.
we dissect these dreams for some pure thoughts.
a few pure thoughts can heal us perfectly,

with all the past and masks removed, we kiss perfectly,
this time there is no necessity for mortal promise.
we free your colorfully angry thoughts,
scattered, in places we forsake, by the winds.
forgotten, buried among words of my mad chronicles.
swallowed by the blackness of night,

it is just you and i tearing an old promise with the winds,
just a storm perfectly inking its own secret, mad chonicles.
it is just you and i weaving new thoughts, and one black night.

2003.nov.09

* sestina 1 of 2

mezzoloth

thoughtlessness
let us forget how she feels
do not consider her emotions
there must be another way
some other way
back to the clouds

solace, in a blanket
be the bits of my vengeance
tattered about in hope and benevolence
there must be a hint of decay
stashed away, stashed away
in these killer clouds

plundering thoughts
of a mezzoloth in my head
mezzoloth under my blankets
there must be a secret rage,
a fury aged
fermenting in my clouds

2007.nov.06

slow smoke v1

the loneliness shivers in volumes tonight,
inside us, inside each other warm body,
in a crowded cafe teeming with laughter,
of coffee steam, cigarette smoke,
i spin lazily with all the unholy air,
upwards into the windless night sky,
bringing death to world,
sigh upon sigh.

i fall back to this desecration of the night,
i find you in the center of this lazy storm,
mumbles and cellphone hymns and crass music,
i could feel you unlike the way
i could see you, smell you, hear you, taste you -
none of that - i only feel you
like feeling you is the only thing in the world.

dear, i was loneliness of the unquestionable kind,
where else could one feel ultimately lonely
but in this center of night trashing,
- a one big pretense of un-loneliness -
but then i knew you, and you are the loneliness
i have so longed to know.

and the loneliness heaves a tide of trembles my way,
i sense you in the eye of this techno storm,
i need not see you, hear you, smell you, taste you -
i love you already.

2007.jul.23

moonlace

i will still want you
long after the last rose
lays its last petal down,
when blood red is withered brown,
upon autumn's bosom.

my songs still spin for you,
around a world gone mute
and numbed from all the deaths
and what numbered breaths
that preludes this winter.

my eyes will always know you,
even after the exodus of light,
even when my eyes would only know
tethered memories, failing shadows,
sinking into the middle of me.

2007.jan.04

tifa

Though not always we're close in space,
In time, my days and yours entwine.
And though between our bodies lay miles,
My soul finds home in your arms.

Though the oceans separate us for now
That today we watch not the same sunset,
Let be assured that to the end of this all
My heart rests on thoughts of you.

If you'll only feel the way I feel for you
Then you'll be sad not a moment longer.
For always in bliss I live as I keep you
Close in spirit in each and every moment.

So worry not, for I hold you close to me
Even from afar, even in absence of trysts.
Though seldom we touch in space and time,
My soul converges with yours into one.

2000.feb.12

telly dreams

the television was talking back to me,
wearing keira knightley's face,
in a conversation as open as the ocean.

the damn thing knew of every record,
every moment, in sports history,
then it told me of each newscasters'
most detailed quirks, in a way
like it was talking about weather.

it said that it would give me the best
insider track of the stock market, too,
but only if i would sing a boyband song.
(i did not).

and the night wore on around us,
we toasted on all things good,
i drained my drinks and the television
munched away electrical energy,
as if my salary was an eat-all-you-can buffet.
(it was not).

if the conversation had a destination,
it was nowhere near in sight,
if the conversation was anything,
it was a rainbow, its ends out
of my existence, its meaning far too
deep for my memory, for my sanity,
and if i tried to reach for it,
it would move a day's distance away.

so the only thing that's left to do,
was to ask if it knew of the secrets
of the universe, of the far reaches,
and through keira knightley's lips,
out of a keira knightley pout,
in its best keira knightley voice,
the television said yes.

2007.feb.12

light/shadow

my skin drinks the blood-light of the sunrise,
this liberation from the tyrant night,
yet short-lived the celebrations remain -
for my dream, as all of beautiful dreams,
again with your warmth on crumpled sheets fades;
shattered thoughts race and crowd the waking mind.

what potion quenches the thirst of the mind?
am i mad to love one lost comes sunrise,
to know her face then at day know it fades?
am i not worthy to snare you from night?
madness it must be to love you in dreams,
madder maybe for these thoughts to remain.

yet quests for your ever veiled face remain.
i would know your scent, your touch, by my mind,
i'd know from the lifetimes we walked in dreams.
i've touched you in lands that know no sunrise,
as i've held you in all corners of night;
my witness is the moon that never fades.

whatever has the morning that it fades
the secret tales of moons till none remain?
what ancient war rages between the night
and the morning that claims my awake mind?
the answers still evade me this sunrise,
dawn must laugh as i mourn the death of dreams.

will a tryst outside the borders of dreams
be made before sun into the west fades?
will such defy the curses of sunrise
and with me by morning you will remain?
forgive these day-woven dreams of the mind,
perhaps too desperate i grow for night.

but know that i can't be denied the night.
i rave mad by day but i dream the dreams
of you, of moon in places of the mind.
and whatever love comes the morning fades,
is made stronger where stars reign and remain.
even if it veils your face by sunrise.

know that my mind speaks true until all fades:
on sheets where dreams are lost, you will remain
a face by night, and by day the sunrise.

2004.feb.16

*sestina 2 of 2

thief

stumbling
out of heaven's womb,
stealing past rays
of a leaving day,
i am newborn night
i grasp
hungrily at the sky,
tearing the blue
and exposing you
to the stars.

stealing
over errant waves
of the changing tide,
skimming over the water
and onto the humid air,
and my kiss made her
into a cold breeze.

(if you felt me
pass through you,
i've taken the warmth
out of you too.)

stealing
the crimson off a rose,
leaving it pale
and shivering,
stealing the voice off
a songbird's beak,
i turn to unleash
the blackness that holds you,
the silence that devours you,
as you try to dream.

stealing
between the narrow hallways
of silenced rooms,
over the thin ice
of quietness,
a trip tiptoed between
slumbering songs
waiting to celebrate
the coming day.
i slip past the hunting
lights of angels.

stealing
shade by shade in between
falling curtains
of a new dawn,
stealing across ending
dreams of wakening minds,
i am escaped and
i am gone.

(if you missed me
as i elude your memory,
i've stolen your heart too.)

2006.aug.01

heretic

some nights the stars
worship you more blatantly.
the light of nights comb your skin
as if a temple.
this leaves me non-existent,
mere spectator in the shadows
outside the borders of the circle
of your spotlight.

i do not mind that i do not exist
within your holy radius.
if light i am to have then light
i will unleash upon you,
so that you will be more shining
for the stars to adore you more,
that they will delay days
to ogle you in longer nights.

my immortal, my goddess,
my angel, my love.
if it feels or appears i love you
less than the stars love you,
it could be because i am not
your raving kind of worshipper.
yet i worship you nonetheless,
in my own silent, secret ways.

2004.apr.21

sometimes

sometimes the worlds stand still to
heed you and only you.
your words shape worlds and some
men's universe
and maybe
you don't know that.

sometimes the lights all fall on
you and only you.
your thoughts take sound and flow
and melody and
someone dances to
this silent song you
wrote though you'd never know
you wrote it
and maybe
you'd never even hear it.

sometimes the dreams of men play
for you and only you.
and sometimes you'd be the
one to weave
them for them.
but you would never know that.

sometimes the literature of men write
of you and for you,
and only you.
sometimes you'd never know
that you brought them the
thoughts through something you
said or wrote or recited
or sang or
waved or smiled.
and most times
they would never know that.

sometimes all the worlds stand still,
just to stand still,
for you and only you.

2004.feb.26

glass rain

I will bleed for you
As I stand on the center of the earth
Waiting for all of heaven to dim.
For I am lonely again
Watch me with my arms wide open
Willing to let the storm in.

And I will suffer for you
As I chase drifting dreams this midnight
Drifting with them to distant shores.
And I am long lost
You see me torn and badly shaken
Inside the cradle of wrathful waves.

And I will let you leave me
Alive but empty in this forsaken place
Waiting for all of heaven to break.
And all angels weep
Shards of broken glass upon this field
Right into my undying body.

1999.dec

mercurial

thunder, i thought i heard you murmur,
as i was surfing over flame waves on the sun
the other day

these unsolicited reminders of days on earth
grapple at my heart and not too gently,
damn you

you dare have me remember colder days
when whisper and wind don't break my skin
(when i wished they would)

and i wish i would not hear you again
over the crackling of tides of flame,
i could be happy

not to know you like i used to
to have forgotten you
to know you forgot me

but you didn't
you can't
damn you

2007.jul.12

follow the red butterfly

it would be nice
if the nights
were a little tangible
when we destroy them.

a shard or a splinter,
a strand or a sliver,
would make a nice
keepsake.

need me again,
already.

half a moon away
our tryst waits
lurking
in the sunshine.

2007.oct.30

fragments

my morning,
is outside that window and golden skyline,
broken light melting unto the mountain peak;
and you are still asleep -
streams of dark hair flow over pillows,
and your lips smile slighty, and

you breathe.

and i fall for you, again,
i fall for you to fragments and i cannot breathe,
save if i breathe your scent;
i feel the night descend,
and even if the sun has breached our safety
memories of blessed darkness stir inside me.

let your eyes caress the daybreak,
my mirth lies in that i am part of your waking,
and if you touch me, i am real;
as real as daylight flooding our fortress,
as true as songs of this newborn sunlit world,
and lost in between your breath and

your touch.

and my morning is you,
my black soul knows the world of waking because of you,
you accept my darkness and embrace my nights;
and in between your sighs,
i fall for you to fragments that i could be your night,
i could be all the stars in your sky.

2005.mar.31

moogle song

We write our names in the light of stars
On the stones at midnight reflecting
the tranquil sadness of the moon,
And by the mouth of our caves
We dance to an audience of stars.

We cast our happiness down the hillside
Down darkness, the town of the sleeping
innocent and oblivious to the night,
And we sing our songs to the moon
As we move under the light of stars.

We sleep under the shelter of the stars
Out in the cool evening growing
silver blades out of the moon's face,
And we sleep with stones for pillows
We sleep with a warm blanket of stars.

We rise again in this endless night
To its endless applause lingering
with the gentle echoes like voices,
Of stars from a distance clapping
As we dance to an audience of stars.

2001.feb

sonnet zero

My thirst, boiled unquenched by water and blood,
Sought some bliss from my state of wanting you;
The slightest touch and the lightest kiss had
This unholy madness you did seduce.
Your eyes hungered, in flames of hell they danced,
As did my own reflection in your stare;
Your spell, it had me burning in a trance
-- scent of your body naked, filled my air.
My mind lost, unanchored and heavenbound,
Cried for admittance at the gates of sin;
In the stream of our juices then I drowned,
As the earth trembled and the angels blinked.
My body, one with yours and shivering
-- in bliss, and the midnight, it was steaming.

2003.may
*formerly titled as "The Challenge To Write An Erotic Shakespearean Sonnet Without Using The Words 'Love', 'Lust', 'Passion', 'Desire', and 'Monster', And Guile Must Have Forgotten 'Ecstasy'

cz

Decompressed, out of an oppressive sleep
She steps into my world, her dark eyes speak
Of gods and goddesses and a secret paradise,
And I fall for the angel with an elusive smile;

Coldness, must have a contract with her heart,
She never warms but her stare betrays a spark,
An ancient frozen flame begging to be rekindled,
A word away from burning the earth to cinders;

Relentless, I vow to run with you in your quest,
To find that smile in your dark soul's depths,
To find the ends of this world in an eternal ride,
And to die with the dark angel of the darkest eyes.

2005.may.06

a quiet wave farewell

I do not know if you wept when I left you,
You seemed to be sleeping through the rain.
If you cried tears then, I did not see them
Run across the wet road that led me away.

I do not know if you waved goodbye then,
You laid still in that early morning shower.
I blew a kiss your cheeks never caught,
Lost in the building storm of your slumber.

I do not know if you saw me wave goodbye,
My fingers strumming gently a silent harp.
I seemed not to rouse you from your dreams,
So this, my dearest: how we drifted apart.

I do not know if I wept then, as I left you,
In the end the rain swallowed me whole.
If I cried tears then, you will never see them
Stain these roads with pieces of my soul.

2001.jul.20

adhesive

blue skies
tasted foreign
in my mouth
the midday wind
blew me away

white clouds
flocked
to the south
the sun burned me
to life

and the lazy day
loved me back
and i wish i were adhesive
that i stayed a part of you
always,
always,
always,

2005.dec.20

unbound

the dampness clung to my lips,
an angel's kiss
on my way to the world.

her sweet and tender lips
breathed bliss,
i drew breath out of the morning air.

the softness of her hair resides,
black as night,
a soothing pain on my skin.

the time it caressed my cheek
it cut as deep
as the dark oceans in her eyes.

her touch unbound by time.
her kiss left no sign,
yet hollow she left my husk.

you stole my world.
you claimed my soul.
i drew breath out of your lingering scent.

2004.jul.08

naru of the morning wind

you started it with a kiss -
the dream-dust falls from my body
and i am naked to your bliss.
your taste melts in my mouth
and fades with the darkness.
i rise to your morning's youth
but sealed in my emptiness,
and lost from you;

my thoughts take form into you,
no waves from oceans can unsettle
this delta of my dreams of you.
you have been for so long
the face of mists of night,
the soul of seasons and their song,
the dream to take flight,
from my touch;

and you must end this with a kiss,
i beg for a piece of your smile
to rest a while upon my lips.
i must fade soon with the evening
to be gone for you for good.
i thought i could hear you sing
and if you ask me to i would,
fade with you.

2004.nov.30

under her hat

come through the black curtains, and her love
shall cradle you; shall care for you,
and you might taste the world for a moment
as you take her hand; as you feel her fingers
run through your hair and your life.

her tears are well-hidden and bittersweet,
and you might taste her dreams for a moment
as you return her kiss; fall to her embrace
and you might be forgotten afterward, save for
your fleeting taste in her once-in-a-blue-moon tear.

and her love shall slay your fears, and her love
shall shelter you; shall never let you go,
even as she tends to all her lovers in the world.

maybe you can lose her if you follow a certain light;
still her love shall never set you free, not that
you wanted to be freed, from that killer smile.

and there will always be the black curtains
in every one life you breathe through, and her love
the merciful darkness to warm you, in the ends,
with that killer smile.

2005.apr.13
*inpired by Death of The Endless

mondays are

mondays are
blue,
cold, and ordinary.
they hang
by their claws on the clouds
and their tails dip
on the ground,
and sleep all day.

mondays are
cool,
blue, and undying.
they scrape
their nails in the sky
and make thunder,
and lightning follows
soon,
afterward.

well.

mondays are
dull,
blue, and boring.
they plummet
with the raindrops
on gray days,
wet and grumpy
as Tuesdays.
mondays are
like that.

2003.may.20